let's elaborate on how i feel about minute elaboration

It’s funny how true certain statements you make actually are; for example when I previously mentioned that I tend to interject other thoughts in order to refrain from losing them from my memory and consequently I often forget the original train of thought I had started. Well, seemingly this will always be true as in the second paragraph of my last entry it happened. I had mentioned the irony of how few read my writing and meant to also discuss the flip side of those who do but became fixed on a new thought. So as a continuation of the paragraph that was intended to be longer than 3 sentences (excluding the massive sub-thought in the middle), I shall pick up with where I left off—not that you care or can do anything about it.

Not to create a negative connotation of myself, there are people who do read my work and comment. Those who read and do not leave any indication of having read it cannot be included since I am neither a mind reader nor cyber geek who can track IP addresses and pinpoint who viewed what and when in relation to my Facebook¹. So, I continue, yet again, with the first reflection. Those who comment comment insufficiently. Feedback is exactly just; I don’t want or even care to know your opinion of my work. Nonetheless, that is also completely untrue. A remark that says ‘wow, that’s deep’ or ‘I really like this one’ with no elaboration or explanation of those opinions holds little value in my eyes. But likewise comments do support my poetic intent—that is, to assume an enlightened and profoundly methodical insight on personal attitudes. Though it never works so perfectly, it usually winds up as a fabrication of collective ideas that give the impression of being philosophical by its unclear analogies and heightened language. I know how a poem should look and sound and that is why I can write them. I can twist the simplest of feelings into complex stanzas that underneath are shallow, hollow suggestions of thought. They say we are our best critiques. Well I don’t refute that; conversely, I wish to protect my authenticity as a writer despite my declaration of falsities, because in my fabrication of inflated imagery there lies intent, meaning, and execution of style. So if those don’t constitute enough as poetry, then your perception is skewed. The imaginary ideas which I present² are totally real and felt/thought at the time being written or else they would cease to exist in words [on paper] (electronic paper). Essentially, I needn’t explain myself to you any further. Quite frankly, having done so much thus far makes me feel like id been trying to lecture a bunch of five year old children, who lack the attention span or intellect to comprehend no matter how many times I repeat myself.

My strongest desire (in a current sense) is to be critiqued and analyzed, probed and experimented upon, identified and destroyed of credibility and the unjustly self acquired placement upon a pedestal. That is what I truly hope for when I write, not responses like “I really enjoy your work”, which means “I like it or at least say I do because I’m somehow jealous that you can create such great writing and I can barely rhyme but I really don’t understand it at all”. I merely, simply request for an equal to study me (straightforwardly my poetry but more so a deep hope for actually analyzing me as a person). What would truly be great is if someone was far beyond that of adroit observations and ultimately understood me or provided some aspect that I have not been able to consider when I ponder the question of my self-identity. But I will just as soon settle for some attempt at critique and feedback.

¹ I want to take this footnote to stress what a big waste of time Facebook truly is. I suppose I am just not with it when it comes to social networking or any sense of social up-keeping for that matter. Possibly my dislike for the site has to do with my lack of need for it. I have a few close friends and beyond that there are friendly associations [that rarely go further than outside of school] and then acquaintances. So given those social levels, it seems odd and unnecessary to “friend” those people who I won’t talk to anyways and neither would they consider the same. Additionally, there is so much needlessness on Facebook. Aside from photo sharing and info relaying between groups or clubs, I don’t need or care to know about your personal life, or that the new Facebook layout sucks, or even some of the mindless postings people have.

² Read “PRE-sent” not “pres-ENT”. Necessary to point out because it correlates perfectly to one of my pet peeves—when people pronounce words wrong, mainly when they enunciate the other word in the heteronym set. One particular example that sticks out is someone who says “pro-CESS” when referring to someone “PRO-cess”[ing] someplace.